Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Randomize
