he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it's like heaven, but drunker
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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