I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
