Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
