I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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