...so i touched it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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