When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
