I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize