when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
