how do flat chested girls get laid?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
