dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
