He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
