I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
