Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
