I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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