im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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