So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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