1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
