11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
