Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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