Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
