New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize