I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
