Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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