Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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