Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
