Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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