plz talk dirty to me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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