he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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