Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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