He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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