My Higher Power is John Stamos
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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