we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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