i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
