If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
