Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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