Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
