be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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