Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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