Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
