i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
