Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
