i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize