Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
