the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
