Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
