Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
