is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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