I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize