ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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