pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
