just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
