I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Randomize