you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The uberlube is also flammable
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
