you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
