I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
