You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize