I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This baby is an asshole
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
