from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
