we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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