Non-Jews are for practice
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just pee around me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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