White coat. Heels.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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