just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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