we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
