Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
