I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
