Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
