Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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