I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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